“All people who live subject to other people’s laws are victims.  People who break laws out of greed, frustration, or vengeance are victims.  People who overturn laws in order to replace them with their own laws are victims (I am speaking here of revolutionaries).   We outlaws, however, live beyond the law.  We don’t merely live beyond the letter of the law – many businessmen, most politicians, and all cons do that – we live beyond the spirit of the law.  In a sense then, we live beyond society.  Have we a common goal, that goal is to turn the tables on the nature of society.”

-Excerpt, Still Life with Woodpecker, by Tom Robbins

I am an Outlaw.  I am an unwilling citizen of the United States if America.  Above all, I am a Human Being currently residing on planet Earth. 

The name bestowed upon me at birth by my parents is Charles Bradford McCall.  In writing though, I wish only to be recognized, quite-simply, as MJ.   Currently, I am “in hiding” in Canada. 

Born into a middle-class Alabama family, I was taught at a very young age to honor, above all, God and country.  From reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in grade school to saying a prayer before dinner, Godliness and Patriotism were esteemed in the values handed down to me through the actions of my elders. In seeing the actions of these elders, I, as does any child reared by human beings, adhered vehemently to these beliefs, as they were the only examples that I was capable of understanding at that time…and was naturally given to leading a life that was not my own and doomed to repeat history.

My life was not my own.  I was living in the shadows of those that have gone before me, repeating their successes, repeating their failures and conforming into a seemingly unbreakable mold, cast in the flames of the past. 

I was doomed to repeat history and was walking on a well beaten, overused path, and discouraged from veering off to forge a new and hopeful path.

My childhood was un-remarkable, as I generally flowed with the common consensus of society.  I experienced at a very young age an insatiable longing for acceptance, and quested for that in every area of my life.  The idea of success was a goal unreachable, as it truly did not exist. 

As a teenager I bobbed in and out of rebellion, though the idea of salvation through Christianity always seemed to straighten me out.  I found that naturally I was split between the bounds of conformity and non-conformity.  Like any young man, I was severely confused as to where my identity stood, and as the development of my individual conscience continued, I developed a lack of clarity.  This was due, partly I believe, to the nature of my upbringing.

At the age of 19, after a certain failed attempt at rebellion, and an equally failed attempt at religious reconciliation, I joined the United States Army.  It was a new beginning, and through leaving the comforts of home, a chance to find out who I truly was. The idea of honoring God and Country, still firmly ingrained in my heart and mind was on the forefront of this reasoning. 

The US Army for me at this point was a seemingly smart move.  Not only did it provide me with a sense of stability and structure that I so desperately needed, but it also gave me a way to back up the beliefs that I had adopted from my parents as my own.  I was entering into a fraternal order of men and women dedicated to betterment of their country through its defense; a like-minded group, where acceptance was not a choice, but a matter of forcible obedience. 

Whilst in the US Army, I learned a lot about myself, about others, and about the mysterious nature of humanity.  I saw the desperation in the eyes of those surrounding me.  I saw a lack of self-purpose in a helpless mass of men and women living the ideals of the past.  I saw the non-acceptance of individuality.  I peered into the souls of men determined to dominate, and nothing else.  I saw the horrific truth of humanity and the face of a collective ego called the United States of America and how it was striving to force humanity into compliance with its authority.  I recognized the fact that I was not protecting the Constitution of the United States of America.  I was complying in the imperialist, capitalist war machine that existed as a business venture and nothing else.  I chose to no longer comply.

In choosing non-compliance, due to a non-participatory role on the Army’s part in which they refused to recognize my sovereignty as a Human Being, I was forced to remove myself from the organization, based on the fact that I have a right to choose whether or not I participate in an action against the best interests of humanity.  My development as a man had reached a pinnacle.  I had to make a choice.

“A sad old soldier once told me a story 
About a battlefield that he was on 
He said a man should never fight for glory 
He must know what is right and what is wrong 
So I'm heading for the nearest foreign border 
Vancouver may be just my kind of town 
Because they don't need the kind of law and order 
That tends to keep a good man underground…”

-My Uncle, The Flying Burrito Brothers

My choice was to move to Canada, in the stead of either going to Iraq or facing a penalty for non-compliance.  I abandoned everything:  My family, friends, home, and country.  It was the only thing that I had in my power to do in order to restore my ability to benefit humanity on the whole. 

Upon coming to Canada, I chose to battle in courts to proclaim my ability to choose if I were to destroy or protect humanity.  My efforts failed through the courts and as a result I abandoned all attempts to pursue this avenue of recognition.  I saw that it was no longer necessary to ask for permission from a higher authority.  My trust no longer rested on the shoulders of mass governance, but more so, on my own.  Upon coming to this conclusion, I was dismayed to see that the organizations within the anti-war movement that had pledged to my support discouraged this, believing that the only options were the most apparent ones.  They ceased in supporting me, and after  Canadian police officers came to my home looking to arrest me, I disappeared into the melee of society and the order of nature, deciding to live the life of an outlaw rather than reserving my divine right to self-governance.

Since then, I have been sustaining myself underground, travelling from “safe-house” to “safe-house” and wondering where I will go from here.  I have given up on being afraid of arrest… I am not naïve  in saying this.  I realize now, that if it is in the great scheme of things for me to be punished for what I have done, I will be punished, regardless of whether or not I am “caught”.  I am here for me, and in being here for me, I am here for humanity.

I have been taught much on this path…the most important of which being that I am in complete control of my own destiny.  I take full responsibility for this life that I live, and in doing that, I cannot allow myself to take part in something that I deem unhealthy for the whole of humanity.  Through my personal actions, within and without, I must demonstrate this concern for humanity incessantly and without abandon, or I risk abandoning myself and humanity as a whole.

I don’t need to be a soldier.  No one does.  We have enough work as it is being human.

I am here.  I am making a difference.  I see hope beyond the shadows of despair.  This too shall pass.

- MJ